Shit gets personal

on JANUARY 20, 2019

Procrastination is not something I suffer from regularly. Several years back, on a lazy afternoon with friends, we decided to come up with toasts that represented our personalities. Mine was “let’s just fucking do this!”

So when I noticed that I kept putting off a new post for this blog, I knew there had to be a good reason. 2018 was a difficult year. I was making my job too demanding – work-life balance practically non-existent. The stress was sometimes crippling. As a result of the long hours, I hadn’t been getting exercise which was making me feel worse. Flying back and forth to Mexico was good, but the every time I had to leave I was increasingly irritable. I was excited to go see my friends again, but instead of making the separation from Switch easier, it seemed to be getting more difficult each time. Writing this blog was turning me directly towards all of these realities.

Shit needs to change or I feel like I may just crumble. I know what you are probably thinking – ahh yet another new year resolution post. Sorry, but while I am not a fan of the new year as a holiday – it is always lamely overblown with expectations set too high for a seemingly arbitrary date – the one thing it’s good for is a few days of deep reflection on self improvement. Here is my self-care pep talk to myself for 2019.

grrrl, set some work boundaries already!

Look deep into yourself here, don’t look away. Why are you killing yourself for this job? Oh, it’s your ego. You feel good about your job and what you do. You are an experienced and successful product manager who’s thrived through some shitty conditions working as a woman in technology. Against the odds, you have navigated obstacles to create successful products. This is a good thing, you should be proud of yourself! However, be careful because this pride can be a double edged sword. Sometimes there are too many things working against you and some risks do not pay off. Be realistic. Re-set expectations with yourself regularly and make peace with those choices. Have faith in your abilities and know that if the outcome is not what you initially expected, you will have succeeded so enjoy the journey.

move your ass

I’m going to be blessedly brief here. You know you feel better when you get exercise, so get out there. No excuses. Get off your ass and go take a walk.

attitude adjustment time!

Let’s play back that ridiculous inner dialogue that’s been running through your head:

Poor me! I’m having to fly back and forth from San Francisco to Mexico every few weeks and don’t get to see my husband as much as I want to because we’ve built our dream house in Mexico and if all goes well I’ll be retiring in my 40s.

Are you hearing yourself here? Do you see how idiotic that sounds? Starting now, you are going to change this narrative and focus on how incredibly fortunate you are. Yes things are difficult, but they are also amazing! As soon as one of these thoughts enter your head, turn it around and think of 2 things that are awesome about your life. In fact, let’s memorialize this and for the next month, every night before you go to bed, write down two things that you should be grateful for. Yes, I know this is hokey, but you are being stupid and so your punishment is to do some cheesy exercise until you learn your lesson.

Oh and one last thing – keep up with your damn blog because people keep telling you they like reading it, you dumb-ass.